Meditation in tears

Meditated and cried for a little bit,
again, this evening.
I have asked myself so many times,
why cry for the past?
Many years behind.

Yes, I am positive now,
during the day,
enjoying the breeze and sunshine,
singing songs while bicycling,
Sometimes I’m lazy,
caught up in anxious thoughts about making money.
but it all seems in control.
The one thing that I did not expect
was the tears during meditation.

When I closed my eyes,
It is a room quiet and peaceful.
Dark,
And solitude,
with a smell of truth and safety.
No one else is there,
Just me.
Then you appear,
like old times, when we were close.
I cry,
with all my heart,
Without any angry, pity or shame.
Tears fall,
Pure and clean.

The only time that I show you my vulnerability
again
is in my imagination.